Friday, March 19, 2010

Why Me? Part 2

One of the places that I've seen the question "Why me?" is in the blogs of new mothers of babies with Down syndrome. Apparently only a few of us feel like we were meant to have a baby with Ds and I will admit that I didn't start thinking that until my bear cub was about 6 weeks old. It's a pretty common thing to question what singled a particular mother and father out and wonder if you did anything to cause it even when doctors and scientists and other parents assure you that it is random.

It seems that everyone that asks this question gets the answer of "Why not you?". At first it seems kind of cold, or at least it does to me, but that question is just as valid, not just in this case, but whenever the question "Why me?" is asked. What makes someone think that they are more or less deserving than anyone else of bad things happening to them.

I had a friend that was reading a book about driving that said that everyone thinks that they are a good driver. I don't think that that's true for everyone. I don't feel like I'm a particularly good driver. I didn't even want to learn to drive and didn't get my license until I was in my 20s because of this and even then it was reluctantly. I think that like driving most people like to think that they are good people, too. I imagine that even the psychopaths and sociopaths of this world think that they are no worse than anyone else. It seems natural that you deserve to have a better life if you live your life right and I even agree with this, but I don't think that it will make you immune to have anything bad happen to you. (For the record, I don't think having a child with Ds is a bad thing. I just used it as the example because it is one of the places I've been seeing the question.)

If a particular adversity didn't happen to you, who would you transfer it to? I don't think that I could give any of my challenges to anyone else in an attempt to protect myself from them, even someone I didn't like. I certainly don't think that any of us have the divine wisdom, infinite knowledge, and perfect moral compass required to be able to make these choices. I am glad that I have my faith to believe that there is another that is making these decisions for the best results, but I believe that even those with no faith accomplish nothing by dwelling on the bad things that happen in their life.

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